Honesty and cringe incoming. I’m 25 (f) and finally became a mature adult after many years of immaturity in my teen years as a kpop stan. I did love the music first and foremost. I didn’t stan groups if I didn’t like the music. But for those I did love, I clung to and prioritized “getting to know” them by keeping up with variety, social media, etc content. I always picked my boy group biases based on who was closest to my ideal type looks AND personality-wise. It was usually always the member I related to and acted the most like too. Some of my bg biases from back then are still my bias today. I simply have a different kind of admiration for them now. Then there’s some other biases I feel kinda traumatized by. I don’t think they would’ve stood out to me if I discovered them today. I wasn’t delusional the way I was with One Direction. For example, 12 year old me genuinely thought I had a shot with Niall! Then I got over that, and I was more grounded with kpop in that sense, but my behavior still caught up with me as I got older. I developed OBSESSIVE crushes on my male biases except they were crushes I only saw on a screen or at a concert, and I was totally cool with that. I didn’t need to date them, but I spent more and more time and money on being their fan. One day I didn’t go to concerts just for the music and experience, but to spend time with my bias/crush, chasing that dopamine high! I saw SuperM live primarily for Lucas, then he got cancelled and disappeared the year after and that was a much-needed wake up call. I finally reflected on my mental state, my behavior, my unhealthy consumption of kpop media, etc. Then I took a 4 year break from kpop, pretty much. I unfollowed every idol on social media, deleted my twitter acc, stopped watching kpop videos, and stopped listening to kpop music altogether. OCCASIONALLY I’d tune into a group’s comeback, listen to the song maybe one time then went on my merry way. Now I think I’m in a much better place mentally. I’ve revisited kpop with a much different mindset, and much more boundaries with myself. I still love many of the same groups’ music and even became a fan of a new bg’s music recently. It just feels so strange and different because I don’t have the same shallow priorities. I lowkey wanna avoid a certain member because several years ago he’d become my bias in a heartbeat and I’d go through that cycle of obsession again. Now I find myself wanting to bias somebody else or none of them at all. Having a bias means something different to me, if it means anything at all now.. it means waaaay less. It’s not necessary to be a fan, yet it’s so ingrained in the fandom culture. It’s hard to escape. How would I even pick now? Why? What for? Idek how other people pick their biases because I’m so used to my own idea of it from the past. I know this may sound like such a non-issue but I ruined a generous chunk of my life with this concept. submitted by /u/Hot-Competition-4141 [link] [comments]
